I have not been posting as much as usual. Aspen is doing really well. The biggest accomplishment is her sleeping in her own room in her own bed from bedtime to morning and during nap time. We attempted off and on but she just didn't seem ready. Our gut instincts were right. When she finally seemed ready, it happened flawlessly. I put her in her toddler bed and sat next to her. I followed the steps recommended in the book "Toddler Adoption". The first step is to stay with them for reassurance with little interaction. The following steps have you move further and further away until you're out of the room. I expected this to take an hour of sitting there or having to put her back in her bed over and over again. I also thought it would take weeks to get through the steps. I put up the baby gate in anticipation of her escaping and prepared myself for many, many sleepless nights. To my surprise, we transitioned through the steps in days. She falls asleep so fast that I barely get her covered up. She has not gotten out of bed once. However, she does not make it through the night yet without calling out to me. I do go in every time she yells out. She still suffers from anxiety if she feels like I've left. As soon as I come in the room, she lays down for me to cover her up and she goes right back to sleep.
I sometimes feel that because I went back to work (2.5 days a week) after three months home that she has this anxiety about me being gone. My husband feels that she would have experienced this anxiety at three months or three years after her coming home. She's just very attached to me and he feels that she will always feel better when I'm home and worse when I'm gone. Working has helped me to get the physical break that I need from holding and picking her up. She wants "up" all day. She will even still ask to get on my back when she's really feeling the need for some Mommy time like they did with her in Korea. Another interesting thing that she does is with her sippy cup. She will drink from a cup or sippy cup without much of preference, but sometimes she asks specifically for a sipping cup. Then, she wants "up" where she will hand me her sippy cup and lay back to be fed like a baby. I cuddle her like a baby and hold the cup like a bottle and proceed to feed her. I rub her cheek and talk baby talk to her while I support the cup up to her mouth as you would with a baby who couldn't do it for themselves. It's a very tender, wonderful time for both of us. Some would say that this digression is a form of bonding that takes her back to time of dependence and an initial bonding stage. I couldn't agree more. It just seems like more to her than just imaginary play. Maybe, it just means more to me....
1 comment:
To my lovebug: It is very interesting to read the details of your little lovebug still seaching for independence. She is so young, and has been through so many changes in her little life. You do whatever it takes to make her feel safe, secure, and loved to the place where she will become more independent as time goes on. As you know, there will be a time when you will wish you still had this little girl with the depend needs - it is such a small precious time in their lives, take advantage of it. Love, Mom
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